My name is Diana, and I am 20. Before I came here to Mission Pakapieni, I lived with my grandmother in Valmiera. It was difficult both morally and financially, since we lived seven persons in one little room. But I don’t complain, it was a good training for life.

When I was pregnant the ninth month, I was put out to live in the street since I had lived there without being registered. Where could I go? Of course, I could go to live with my parents, but could it be a solution? I don’t think so. I simply know that I would never be able to live with them. I want to study and work, and bring up my son. I don’t want to “bury” myself in all those farm works, reaching no purpose in my life. Then a nice lady told me about Mission Pakapieni. It’s clear that I did not want to come here, too, but I had no choice. In the end of November, I came here, and now I can say that I don’t regret that I did. This is the best decision ever taken by me. On 10^th of December, I gave birth to a son Nauris by name. Now he is four months old, dashing. Just because he was born on the 10^th  and no other date, just because he was born at no other place than home, just because he is who he is, I love him that much. He is a miracle, no one’s but mine.

The father of the child is not worth to be mentioned. He did not want the child, and I didn’t impose. That was my choice. It’s clear that it hurts. But this is not the only thing that hurts. There is nothing more I can do but pray for him.

The memories about the delivery are beautiful, first of all because it happened at home. Everything went so quickly, the son did not torture me too long. I simply can’t put it in words how good it felt. I was full of love towards the one I had been expecting to come for nine months! The same time I felt a little sad that I did not have the large belly any more, and I don’t feel him kick. I would wish so very much to turn the time back and live it through once again. Only this time even more heartily, impatiently, and on, and on, and on.

The life here in the Mission is valuable. This is a time of reflection on what has been, what is, and what is going to be. There is both time for working and lounging around a little. And Nauris too gets quite a lot of my attention and love. I’m impatient waiting for the time when he will grow bigger and say “Mom”. I feel myself being a good and loving mother already now, but my heart is longing to hear this word from the mouth of my son.

Speaking about God, Who is our everyday here, I can say: “Yes, I believe!” That is why it was not difficult for me to get used to the devotions and Bible readings. When Nauris was two months old, we got baptized. Now I’m proud to say that we are Christians. Certainly, there is much more for us to learn about God and the life of Jesus. But the key issue is that we are now on the right way, and I do my best to walk this way. I have also understood that nothing in this life happens just so, but that it is God’s plan.